Maybe N.Y. Really Is Rude

New Yorkers have a traditional reputation for rudeness. I'm a native New Yorker, and I've always felt this reputation was undeserved. I know many people who go out of their way to be as pleasant as possible, especially to tourists. I've made excuses for our perceived boorishness by comparing the behavior to what is commonplace in any large metropolis. Stress-induced incivility seems to be a result of dealing with the demands of huge urban populations. I've run into a similar lack of congeniality on the part of service staff in restaurants and stores in London and Paris. It has been my pet theory that those who are most responsible for offenses of courtesy in the Big Apple are hapless souls from other American cities who are failing to make it here. They take their frustrations out on their customers. Lately, though, I have begun to formulate another theory about New York waiters and waitresses. They really are rude! For the past year, I've had the opportunity to dine out quite a bit, far more then I ever could when my children were young. These repasts have been consumed throughout Manhattan, Queens, Staten Island, and several towns in New Jersey. A visit to the Menlo Park Mall highlighted the stark difference in the quality of service between the two states. I stopped for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, and while the food turned out to be merely satisfactory, our waitress, Tricia, was excellent. She was attentive, courteous, knew exactly when our drinks needed refills, cleared the extra dishes away immediately, and seemed to be always near enough to heed our every beck and call. The restaurant was busy and she had her hands full, but she was just a perfect waitress and not the only one I've encountered in New Jersey. I will not name the pricey restaurant on Madison Avenue where I dined two weeks ago or the popular Chelsea bistro or the Village tea shop or any of the other establishments where good quality of service does not rank high on the list of priorities. Most of these occasions were business luncheons because, while my preference for dining is a high-backed booth in a clean diner, my dining companions are used to more upscale cafes. I find it curious that the more a meal costs, the more supercilious the waitstaff is. The other diners seem to shrug off the lack of conviviality on the part of the waitstaff that stands around with bored expressions, permanently raised eyebrows, and a determination to ignore any attempts to get their attention. It's long been a tradition that actors and actresses and others in the entertainment industry tend to gravitate toward positions that allow them the flexibility to attend auditions and classes. While the jobs may be suited perfectly to their schedules, this doesn't mean that they are suitable candidates capable of rendering quality service. Having worked in a service industry alongside these fledgling stars and starlets, I met few who didn't consider their employment strictly temporary and beneath their abilities. In short, their work ethic left a lot to be desired. Nevertheless, none of this resonated until I started going to New Jersey for cheaper gas and lower taxes. Yes, I'm sorry, that sounds traitorous, but our governor has morphed into a RINO (Republican in name only) who seems to have forgotten that a lower tax is good for business. What I didn't expect to find was the serendipitous bonus of enjoying such superior service at so many eating establishments. I've been batting a thousand when it comes to restaurants staffed with appreciative workers. Although many of these appear to be young college students, even those of advanced years are solicitous and deserving of extra-large tips. There are quite a few upscale Manhattan restaurants that still put a premium on providing excellent service to their customers, or so I've been told. Michael's is the only one I've dined at that meets this standard. This may all seem like a frivolous commentary, but it serves to answer the puzzling question of why white Manhattanites fare so much better than the rest of the city in the obesity war. Crain's New York Business released statistics last month that report that only 34% of white Manhattan residents are overweight. The health commissioner, Dr. Thomas Frieden told Crain's, "I wish we could find out the reason why and bottle it." No need to ponder that mystery any longer, commissioner. White Manhattanites are thin because they are paying more for their meals and waiting longer for them to be served. Their arms are kept reed thin by waving them constantly in the air to get their waiter's attention. When the meal finally arrives, it's served in miniscule portions, which is apparently good for your health. While I seriously need to lose a few - all right, quite a few - pounds, I've become addicted to good service across the river. Since the mayor's so fond of banning New Yorkers' favorite traditions, perhaps he should consider making rudeness taboo as well.