Roaches, mice, and other vermin, oh my! Who would ever imagine
that Starbucks, home of the $3.50 cup of java, would be afflicted
with these woes? Although I've maligned the franchise before,
I've become accustomed to its existence on every street corner of
this city, and I will humbly attempt to offer a solution to the
common urban plagues Starbucks employees are complaining about.
On August 16, current and former employees of the coffee chain
filed a federal complaint claiming that bosses have refused to
heed repeated warnings about inadequate training and chronic
infestations of roaches, rats, and other vermin in New York
stores. Starbucks has denied the allegations, saying the
complaints were instigated by union activists.
I have no way of determining if the allegations are valid because
I'm not a regular customer. In fact, I avoided patronizing the
place for many years until I was forced to meet someone there for
an interview and it was the most convenient setting. Its ubiquity
makes it a handy meeting site. Others, however, find the gourmet
coffeehouses downright dangerous.
The British actor Rupert Everett has organized a petition against
the company setting up shop in his London neighborhood. Mr.
Everett said: "Starbucks is spreading like a cancer. Nobody
in the neighborhood wants it, including me. There are plenty of
diners and coffee shops there already."
Mr. Everett and 1,000 of his neighbors have signed the petition,
which claims the store's opening next month on Conduit Street
will herald the end of a long tradition of independent shops on
the street. One neighbor, Ash Ranpura, told a Daily Mail
reporter, "The loss of such a thriving street to global
chains would be a great loss for the capital."
Yes, it is sad when quaint little neighborhood spots are replaced
by trendy yuppie hangouts, but that's progress and the way
capitalism works, Rupert.
While Starbucks may seem a growing malignancy to these Londoners,
I find its presence much less threatening than the onslaught of
luxury condominiums that erase entire neighborhoods. That's
what's happening in New York City.
Starbucks just fills a niche in the community for meetings,
Internet access, or the old-fashioned coffee break. If the diners
and coffee shops that Mr. Everett cherishes so much are worthy of
being patronized, they will survive.
In the meantime, as promised, I tender my answer to the Starbucks
quandary. Every store that allegedly has a problem with
four-legged vermin should visit the local ASPCA and adopt a cat.
Even PETA can't complain about that. There are thousands of good
mousers awaiting termination at city and private humane shelters.
Save them.
I was never a cat lover until my daughter took in a kitten named
Kiki. We had always had a mouse problem because our house is
situated next to a wooded area populated by raccoons, possums,
squirrels, and, of course, mice. Traps and exterminator visits
worked only temporarily. Kiki, however, was a born mouser and
once she patrolled the premises, they stayed away.
Roaches, of course, are another story. They date from the
prehistoric era and have probably survived several global
warmings. Although keeping an immaculate dwelling may keep them
away, these creatures can still invisibly worm their way into
your home and live on the paste in book bindings.
In Mariners Harbor, a family's ordeal made the front pages of the
Staten Island Advance. These insects had overrun the Leonardo
residence and lived in the appliances as well as the children's
playpens and cribs. The entire building was infested and visits
from exterminators were no help.
When I lived on Manhattan's East Side in a high-rise apartment,
the exterminators would spray one apartment and the roaches would
just move from that apartment to another. No matter what we did,
they kept returning. When we moved to our house in Staten Island,
I was thrilled that we were finally roach-free. Alas, those nasty
critters had moved with us in our boxes and within a month, they
were swarming all over. Roach motels, boric acid, and sprays only
briefly contained them.
A news article in a local paper mentioned a product called Roach
Prufe that promised to do the trick. It's a powdered solution of
boric acid and a secret ingredient that must be pixie dust
because after I set the powder behind the stove, in the rear of
the cabinets, and behind the radiator (it must stay intact to
work), the roaches were gone in two weeks and never returned.
So there you have it, Starbucks. Adopt the cats, get Roach Prufe,
and maybe your employees will smile at me once in a while.