One couldn't help but smile at the timely front page of the
Weekly World News - "Hillary Names Bigfoot as her Running
Mate." While waiting to check out at the supermarket, I
stared at the ridiculous photo of my senator alongside the hairy
mythical creature of the north and wondered, "Who buys stuff
like this?" Answer: The same people of New York who voted
for Mrs. Clinton and actually believed she would spend the next
six years representing our interests.
Well, I voted for John Spencer, who promised to be a full-time
senator, but I imagine the same voters who were fooled in
November will be lining up in 2008 for a repeat performance.
Those skeptics who think Mrs. Clinton has competition in the
senator of Illinois, Barack Hussein Obama, are also probably
subscribers to the WWN, because once the national audience gets a
peek behind the newsmagazine hype at the reality of the
candidate, Mr. Obama will be a goner. His color may be the reason
liberals are going gaga over him, but it won't be the reason he's
overwhelmingly rejected by the Republicans, who have a much
stronger history with civil rights than the Democrats. Americans
seem to have forgotten that George Wallace, Lester Maddox, and
Eugene "Bull" Connor were all Democrats, and that it
was a Democrat, Senator Hollings, who put that Confederate flag
over South Carolina's Capitol when he was governor. No, it will
be Mr. Obama's liberal voting record that does him in.
As for Senator Edwards, affectionately dubbed "Breck
Boy" by bloggers, what will America think once that video of
him endlessly combing his hair and peering into a compact mirror
before he goes on camera hits the airwaves? Don't blame the
mean-spirited Republicans for spreading this hilarious video. It
originated on Harry Shearer's blog back in 2004, when the trial
lawyer was Senator Kerry's running mate. Mr. Shearer, the voice
of several characters on "The Simpsons," can hardly be
considered a member of the vast right wing conspiracy. As with
Mr. Obama, it will be his liberalism that will turn voters off to
Mr. Edwards's candidacy, not his preening.
Now a Times of London article is trying to portray Mrs. Clinton
as a tough, Margaret Thatcher type, which explains why our
senator has been perfecting her hawkish demeanor. She knows that
America is definitely ready for a woman president, but only one
like Prime Minister Thatcher or the late Jeane Kirkpatrick.
Unfortunately, Mrs. Clinton's colleagues may be unconsciously
sabotaging her ambition to become the American Thatcher.
Rep. Barbara Boxer, a Democrat of California, upbraided Secretary
of State Rice at a hearing recently, saying Ms. Rice is not able
to understand the price the military pays for going to war
because she is childless. Ahem, wouldn't that mean that mothers
might not be the best choice for commander in chief? Of course,
Mrs. Thatcher is a mother, but she was also a conservative, not a
liberal Democrat.
I heard Mrs. Thatcher speak at a Conservative Women for America
convention several years ago in Washington, D.C., and I'm sorry,
Mrs. Clinton, but the only thing you have in common with the
"Iron Lady" is your gender. You may have voted for the
war in Iraq, but you're waffling on exactly how much support
you'll give to finish the job.
After that CWFA convention, I wrote: "The ‘Iron Lady'
gave her defense ministers total support during the Falkland
Islands crisis in 1982. She declared they had access to whatever
resources the nation had and what it didn't have, she would
somehow get. This is the kind of support our Army Rangers should
have received before getting killed and dragged through the
streets of Somalia after waiting in vain for backup."
President Clinton was in the White House during that "Black
Hawk Down" tragedy, and I wonder how much influence the
"co-president" Mrs. Clinton had in denying our Rangers
the support they needed.
As more candidates enter the race, the best and most qualified is
a long shot, because his last name is Bush and Americans don't
like dynasties. Nonsense - as if we've ever had one to dislike.
Another New Yorker, Mayor Giuliani, is also considered a
front-runner for the 2008 presidential race, and he was extremely
tough in dealing with critics of his Clean Up New York campaign.
Once again, his liberalism may prevent him from getting the
Republican nomination. If he doesn't get it and runs as an
Independent, then Mrs. Clinton may indeed end up winning - even
with Bigfoot as a running mate.